


Kunoichi

by GossamerGlassJellyfish



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8228344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GossamerGlassJellyfish/pseuds/GossamerGlassJellyfish
Summary: Sakura and Ino don't become childhood friends.  Strangely, this actually brings many of the kunoichi of Konoha closer together.  All-female team.  Women training women.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I have fanfiction accounts with different versions or forerunners of this story, or stories with elements of this story, trailed all over the Internet. So if some of this seems familiar... Sorry. I have a clutter problem. -.-'
> 
> This chapter is very fast paced, but I think the only way to make it all the way through the Naruto series is to go at a breakneck pace. I have also learned that most people don't like long, drawn-out, slow-paced training fics. So this is not one, though this first section will explain why and how Sakura, Hinata, and Ino are different in this universe.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Parents day at the Academy had been a bad time to approach him, they all thought. 

Students and parents mingled around in the front courtyard, in the grass underneath the red “Fire Country” sign, civilian parents and grown ninja in leaf-green ninja flak vests for once mixing together, talking to teachers, boasting or asking questions, voices rising and falling in a disarray of chatter. Children ran around, ducking between legs, shouting and laughing, getting scoldings on the way by.

It was not how ninja were supposed to behave, but even Ninja Academy students were allowed some leniency as children.

Sasuke and Naruto wouldn’t even have come that day, except it was during the school day and attendance was mandatory. Naruto would have skipped if Mizuki-sensei hadn’t threatened to make him do detention during lunch should he fail to show. Lunchtime itself was the worst, and that was what they’d come to. All the parents were there, and neither Sasuke nor Naruto had any family to be present at all. Each had it worse in different ways: Sasuke remembered a time when his parents had come to parent day. Naruto did not remember his family, but he was the town pariah; people shied away from him and whispered behind their hands as he passed by in the crowds.

Sasuke and Naruto stared at each other for a long moment… Then gave each other ugly looks and stalked off. Their enmity was too entrenched to allow for open sympathy. They went their separate ways to opposite ends of the courtyard. One girl followed Naruto; two girls followed Sasuke. 

In another universe, in another life, Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino had already been friends by this point. But in this universe, they were not - Ino was a popular girl, Sakura a victim of bullying. So Ino and her friends had been talking after kunoichi seduction classes one day, and they’d announced to all the other girls that each had to go up to their respective crushes and tell them how they felt, using seduction techniques to try to win the boy over. Even Sakura and the ever-shy, timid Hyuuga Hinata had perked up. 

Talking to their crushes and trying to seduce them. Now that was something else. Only children would believe so fervently in their own power.

Parents day was the day decided for the competition of sorts, and this was a very serious mistake.

Sakura and Ino both ran up to Uchiha Sasuke, a pale, reserved, dark-haired, talented boy with an icy demeanor. Each had imagined their own daydreams onto Sasuke, mostly due to how handsome he was, though neither of them had ever actually talked to him. Sakura, quiet, nerdy, and bookish, was in awe of Sasuke’s quiet, talented reserved. Ino, bossy, arrogant, and headstrong, could appreciate Sasuke’s arrogance, something she felt she could match - a fellow arrogant, popular person, she’d thought - and imagined a reckless temper and a good heart underneath it.

They pushed each other out of the way as they ran up to Sasuke, each clutching a clumsily handmade lunch.

“Sasuke-kun, I made lunch for you!”

“I have food for you!”

They smiled, holding their lunches out - giving each other side glares.

But Sasuke was in a terrible mood, and he was never in that good of a mood to begin with, and he’d been approached by empty-headed girls enough that by now he had grown quite tired of it. It was just that he didn’t speak unless spoken to.

Now he had his chance.

Sasuke’s lip curled in ugly disgust, anger hidden in his coal black eyes. “More useless fangirls,” he said bitingly. Sakura shrunk and Ino’s heart froze in her chest. “You spend all your time paying attention to me, yet you’re both so weak. Why don’t you go train instead?”

And he stalked off. 

Tears filled Sakura’s eyes. Ino threw her lunch down. “Screw you!” she called heatedly after Sasuke, and flounced off. Sakura followed dejectedly behind her.

Both had been in the beginning throes of a crush, and their dreams had just been shattered. Sasuke was cruel and cutting, his reserve not hiding shyness or compassion or even anything else remotely appealing.

More than that, he didn’t like them. He’d dismissed them as weak.

-

Hyuuga Hinata had a different crush, a rather unconventional one.

Shy, reserved, classy, timid, and hopelessly kind, from one of the wealthiest clans in Konoha, completely friendless because of her own painful silence, Hinata too had almost been a victim of bullying. But she’d been saved by the wild, loud-mouthed class clown, a boy named Uzumaki Naruto, who had messy blond hair and bright blue eyes. He didn’t do well in class, sometimes because he slacked off, and he was of a much lower class, but he was swaggering and determined. He was everything she wasn’t.

Hinata dreamed of a humorous, confident boy who was social, hot tempered, and a bit unconventional, who could support her and help her feel better when she was rejected by her clan head father. Hinata, too, had never talked to Naruto, but they were both dismissed as weak and therefore she felt there was a special connection between them - Naruto must see it, too.

Her specialty was in flowers, so instead of a lunch, she had picked for Naruto a beautiful rose from the clan compound garden. She hid it behind her back, approaching Naruto timidly. He was sitting dejectedly on a tree swing in the front courtyard, alone. She knew he was probably not very happy. Maybe she could cheer him up?

“U-umm… Naruto-kun…” Hinata began softly, shyly. “I know you must be very upset… I-I’m sorry you’re feeling badly…”

It had taken great courage for Hinata to form these words.

Naruto turned around and looked up. “Hey, you’re that weird, quiet girl!” he said loudly. Hinata’s shoulders slumped in heavy disappointment and self-dislike. “What’s wrong, weird, quiet girl?!” He grinned, to cover the pain in his eyes.

Naruto did sometimes use his sense of humor against other people. He’d just never used it against her before.

“W-well… I… I just thought…”

“I can’t hear you!” said Naruto loudly. It was an impolite and somewhat stupid thing to say to someone who was obviously struggling to get words out - it was also enormously unkind.

At last, Naruto, in the back of his head, decided Hinata must be making fun of him. She must be mocking him, just like everyone else.

“I don’t want to hear what you have to say anyway!” he shouted, insecure, and ran off.

“N-Naruto-kun!” Hinata called, distraught, after him. But he was gone.

She realized several things simultaneously: Naruto did not see her. He might not even remember her. His swaggering hid insecurity. He was not particularly intelligent or polite, he was somewhat unkind, and he often used his sense of humor against others.

The flower dropped and Hinata’s fists clenched, helpless anger filling her expression silently. A whirlwind of emotion had kicked up inside of her. Her fledgling crush had ended - this much was certain.

“Hinata-sama.”

Hinata gasped and looked around in fear. Her cousin Neji was standing there, reserved.

“... You should not interact with that boy,” said Neji. “He is only trouble.”

“Yes, Neji-nii-san,” Hinata whispered. “I understand that now.”

Naruto looked down on her - just like everyone else. Her quiet anger deflated and depression filled its aftermath.

-

The next day was even worse. Several girls were holding hands with their former crushes, and the fact that these relationships would last a couple of weeks at most did nothing to muffle the pain and humiliation for the three girls of knowing they had failed in love where others had succeeded.

Ino tried to go have lunch with her group of popular friends, who turned on her and said snottily, “You can’t be in our group anymore.”

Ino stopped, flabbergasted and horrified. “What?! Why not?!” she demanded.

“After that mess with Uchiha Sasuke? Who’d want to be friends with you?” the lead girl sneered, and everyone else started laughing.

Their laughter ringing in her ears, Ino had to walk off alone. Her popularity, always so important to her, had just been ruined.

Without Uchiha Sasuke and her bossy popularity… who was she?

Sakura’s bullies surrounded her where she was curled up on the ground and began kicking at her. 

“Forehead Girl! Forehead Girl! You’re so ugly! As if Uchiha Sasuke would ever like you!” 

Sakura began crying. She could not help herself. They were right - her crush on Sasuke had always been hopeless. The fiery, earnest part of her retreated further and further inside herself.

Hinata’s father called her into his office after school. She knelt on the tatami mats before him. He didn’t yell, but somehow his voice boomed and bounced off the walls anyway.

“You are an even worse disappointment than before! First you cannot defeat your younger sister, and now this? We of the Hyuuga clan do not fraternize with useless ruffians like Uzumaki Naruto!”

Hinata sat there, silent. She had no one to look up to anymore, no one to aspire to. She was weak and lost and alone.

-

Yamanaka Ino marched up to their kunoichi arts teacher the next day after classes. Suzume-sensei had frizzy black hair and spectacles, but she was elegant, fashionable, and serious. She had a thin, rangy sort of appeal to her, a way she carried herself and a certain carving to her face that spoke of sophistication.

“Why don’t your techniques work?!” Ino demanded.

Sakura and Hinata paused and stayed behind in the classroom, curious, as everyone else filed out. They, too, wanted to hear the answer to Suzume-sensei’s question.

Suzume’s eyebrows rose. “What on earth do you mean?” She looked around to the three girls.

Each admitted her own separate personal story, after some hesitation.

Suzume sighed. “I’m going to be frank with you,” she said. “First, you do not understand true kunoichi seduction. Second, if your whole worldview revolves around how many people like you, and if your entire life is defined by some boy, you are never going to be happy.

“There is no such thing as universal popularity, girls. And you must be an independent person yourself before you can find true love and romance. Whether or not a boy likes you should not change your sense of self worth.”

Ino, Sakura, and Hinata stood there, stunned. Somehow dissatisfied, too.

“I… I want to prove people wrong about me.” This, of all people, came from Hinata. Shy but determined Hyuuga Hinata. “All those people who doubt me. I want to prove them wrong. I just don’t know how.”

“And I want to discover myself!” Ino insisted, fiery.

“Yes. And I would like to learn the true point of this kunoichi seduction,” Sakura, ever the scholar, added curiously.

“I am willing to tutor you for extra hours after school, if that is what you desire,” said Suzume, reserved. “I can help you become true kunoichi. I am always glad when students taken an interest. But you have to be willing to put in the time and effort.”

Sakura, Hinata, and Ino looked at each other. “Deal!” they said, turning around, determined.

-

And so they began kunoichi seduction training.

Kunoichi were often sent out on infiltration missions, where they had to seduce information from powerful men, and sometimes kill them. This was not intended in a sexual way. Romance, sensuality, and attractiveness were what was emphasized. That was true seduction.

And Suzume was its master. She could trick anybody into anything. She had grown tired of killing men and infiltrating foreign places, and so had become a teacher.

She put Sakura, Ino, and Hinata through seduction training for many hours after school. They learned the art of good cooking, the grace of Nihon Buyo dance with sensu fans and shamisen playing, the perfection of calligraphy, the beauty of flower arrangement, and the peace and tranquility of tea ceremony. They were made to walk balancing books on their heads, and were trained in silent poise and grace. 

They were taught how to pretend to drink all night without getting drunk, how to flirt and play games and make good conversation even with taciturn men, how to hide weapons in pieces of jewelry, and how to induce ASMR and give good massages. They were taught how to do research and tailor their infiltration techniques based on the character of the man they were seducing, and they were taught about foreign cultures and foreign interaction. They were given sensitivity training, so that they could find the flaws in a man and avoid falling in love with him on an infiltration mission.

They were also taken through sex ed, which was just something any kunoichi woman should know, as they grew into teenagers during their time at the Academy.

They were then taught how to integrate these lessons and make them seductive. Each was encouraged to cultivate a separate “persona” and to wear it while doing these activities. Ino became bubbly, cheerful, and flirtatious, somewhat fiery. Sakura chose a mysterious, sensual persona, serious and determined. Hinata was calm and quiet, sweetly smiling, but she could be icy and dignified when she wanted to be. They felt very silly doing these acts at first, but as time passed they became more confident in their acts and these became the basic building blocks from which they rebuilt themselves and their self identity.

They learned to define themselves. Their acts became their personality. Act like something long enough, and that is what you become. A change was wrought inside them.

They were also taught how to dress for their complexions and body types as they grew into teenagers. They were taught that all body types and appearances were good, and should be used to their best effect rather than forcefully altered.

Sakura was a Rectangle Spring, with pink hair and bright green eyes. Ino was a Pear Summer, with ash blonde hair and pupil-less vivid blue eyes. Hinata was an Hourglass Winter, with blue-black hair and pupil-less silvery-violet eyes. So their dressing, whether in kimono or in clothes, should always be tailored based on those specifications. 

Haircuts, on the other hand, were determined by face shape. Hinata was a circle, Ino was an oval, and Sakura was a heart.

They chose their kunoichi outfits and hairstyles based on that.

Hinata wore a bright burgundy flowing dress that banded at the waist. She cut most of her hair off, creating short, bouncy curls. 

Ino wore a soft violet structured shirtdress with sleeves. Her hair was in a long side-sweep.

Sakura wore a medium turquoise dropped waist dress. She cut all her hair off in a pixie haircut, with bangs to hide her wide forehead.

Finally, they were taught the correct way to wear kimono and adornments, and they were taught how to paint their necks, supposedly the most erotic part of a woman’s body. Kimono were also meant to be erotic - they left a lot to mystery and the imagination, a very erotic part of their culture. Nihon Buyo dance personified this - the dancer or dancers told a story while twisting gracefully as close to the earth as possible.

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata became close, sparring and studying with one another in more traditional Academy subjects together, helping one another improve. Sakura was brilliant at book learning, while Ino was good at survival and psychology and Hinata excelled at the physical arts such as taijutsu. So each had something to teach the others and bring to the table, and pretty soon they had all improved greatly.

There was nothing to distract them anymore. That helped. They found fledgling confidence in each other.

Ninja at the Academy, both male and female, went through intensive physical conditioning. Any basic ninja had to get to the point where they could physically leap between trees and buildings, run at high speeds, and balance on any foundation no matter how narrow. (This was why training started so early.) They learned basic hand to hand taijutsu, basic ninjutsu chakra related techniques, and the ability to break out of genjutsu illusions. They also learned stealth and hiding, how to use weapons and forge traps, they were given survival training, they were taught how to break out of bindings, and they were given extensive academic information such as history and geography, codes and cipher breaking, mapping, team management, and ninja rules of etiquette and psychology. These were just some of the lessons that Ino, Hinata, and Sakura began helping each other through, mastering them together, each of them improving thanks to the others.

Suzume-sensei also encouraged them to find themselves as people as well. “Ninja have to be human in private in order to stay sane,” she said, a lesson they would carry with them throughout their years as ninja. “Ninja must be weapons on the battlefield. This is taught in any basic Academy training - you must be an emotionless, strategizing weapon, dedicated to the mission assigned by your Hidden Village military base and by your country. But try to be a weapon all the time and you will lose your mind - quite literally. Many have. So if you feel emotional, do your duty on the field and then let it out in private.” 

She gave them a moral code to follow and a reconciliation with death in Zen Buddhism, which taught morality through the Eightfold Path and believed in an endless cycle of death, rebirth, and reincarnation. Bad deeds were punished through karma, the idea that the universe itself dealt out to everyone exactly what they deserved in the end. Meditation was emphasized, and so Suzume-sensei taught them once-a-week meditation. She took them to temple, and showed them how to leave offerings of flowers and food and how to pray. She also taught them never to fall prey to alcohol, money, or the opposite sex - a basic of ninja lore.

“We are allowed boyfriends and husbands, but we must not let them ruin us,” Suzume-sensei said. “We must be ninja first, and they must understand that.”

The lessons were timely, as they were just learning about death, The Will of Fire (a Konoha village philosophy centered around protecting their home and their comrades even to the death), KIA ninja, and grave-cleaning in their regular Academy sessions.

And Suzume encouraged them to find individual hobbies, and books, movies, and music they liked.

Hinata loved mysteries in novels and movies, and jazz and blues music. Her hobbies turned out to be crafts such as flower pressing, sewing and embroidery, baking, and jewelry making.

Ino loved horror in novels and movies, and punk and electro-punk music. Her hobbies turned out to be painting and charcoal drawing, and partner dancing.

Sakura loved social dramas in novels and movies, and pop and hip hop music. Her hobbies turned out to be longer form poetry, and puzzles - such as crossword and sudoku, solitaire, and physical puzzles.

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata sometimes got together for shopping sprees and sleepovers, sharing their passions with one another. They had been bonded first over heartbreak, then over a shared determination to prove people wrong, then over ninja abilities… and now on a personal level.

Suzume-sensei taught them the right way to think about fighting and killing other people and fighting alongside their friends. The correct ninja mindset, so to speak.

“Yes, ninja must be calm and calculating, but there is more,” said Suzume. “Ninja should never let rifts come between them and their comrades, and should always fight and support their comrades and friends out in the field. One should never dwell on one’s abilities, but should always simply do what one can and must, and constantly improve. One should find creative, strategic ways to achieve one’s goals. One should always respect one’s enemies, even as we fight and kill them. One should only kill another person if absolutely necessary - but if necessary, we should feel no guilt, even if it seems more natural once we calm down that we might.

“But when we are sparring with our friends, we must also be merciless, without killing, against them. If we do not fight our hardest against our friends, the enemy will fight their hardest against them and they could die out in the field. Do you see?”

The girls were surprised for different reasons. Hinata had just been told not to dwell on her strength, only to do what she can and must, and that fighting her hardest against her friends actually helped them. Sakura and Ino had just been told always to put their friends first, and never to let rifts come between them and their comrades.

“With that said,” said Suzume, “I think you should each start your clan training. You are all from a clan - ask your parents and families for strength. Family is important, and older people have much to teach us.”

And so with this, they threw themselves into their clan training. They wanted to prove everyone wrong, after all. Stronger and more confident, freed from distractions, with their new personas and new grasp of their human side, and with the proper mindset under their belt… they went far. And continuing to spar with each other, they went even farther.

Hinata’s mastered abilities included: Advanced Byakugan (including sorting out lies by looking into a person’s face). Gentle Fist hand to hand mastery, specializing in muscle and nerve injury and quick-tap debilitating attacks (this included ninjutsu disruption and healing abilities). Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms (Divine Sixty-Four Strikes). Emanating chakra from all tenketsu at once, and from select bodily tenketsu. Kaiten, the dome shield, and One Body Blow, which could also break through chakra prisons.

Ino’s mastered abilities included: Mind Body Switch (entering another’s mind and leaving her own body from a straight line). Mind Clone Switch (a multiple person version of Mind Body Switch). Mind Body Disturbance (body control, like a spider with people on her strings). Mind Body Reading (mind reading as long as she could look the other person in the eye). Mind Body Transmission Technique (sensing other minds in her area, telepathically communicating with them and setting up telepathic communication links). Mind Body Attack (psychic attacks, which also required eye contact).

Sakura’s mastered abilities included: Breaking out of genjutsu. Disguising genjutsu (all manner of sensory mirages) while a ‘quick kill’ attack happened elsewhere. Putting the cerebral nervous system to sleep and inflicting direct damage to it. Binding genjutsu and limb and head control. Field wide and layered genjutsu. Using genjutsu illusions to have enemies kill each other.

Suzume-sensei had one final lesson to them: “Just because you’re women, doesn’t mean you can’t be tough like men. But you have an advantage: unlike men, you’re also capable of femininity and seduction. There can be two sides to you.”

The three of them bowed low, serious. They had come to respect their teacher and mentor.

“Yes, Suzume-sensei,” they said solemnly.

-

Ino, Sakura, and Hinata came out on the other side of this training with several alterations: They were three close best friends. They had a female mentor to look up to. They were much stronger, and also more confident in themselves. They cared less about what others thought. They were much less boy obsessed than most of their female peers. And they were also more confident in themselves as attractive growing women.

They had a conversation once.

“You know, we could probably seduce those boys if we really wanted to,” Ino pointed out idly during one lunchtime on the Academy grounds, while they were sitting on a bench together underneath a dark green tree. The white stucco walls and pointed, spiraling red roofs of the Ninja Academy loomed in the distance.

“Naruto and Sasuke, you mean?” Hinata asked curiously.

“Yes, I can see it,” said Sakura, interested. “Sasuke’s weakness is his temper, and his surprise at being impressed by intelligence and skill in women. Naruto’s weakness is his need to have his ego fed, and his idealism toward beautiful women.”

“Have you noticed he’s started trying to flirt with us?” said Ino, grinning.

“Very clumsily,” said Hinata, smiling ruefully, and the other two chuckled.

There was a pause.

“I don’t really want to do it anymore,” Sakura admitted. “We’ve moved far beyond that.”

“Yes,” said Hinata sadly. “It’s lost all its meaning.”

“In retrospect, they’re both kind of assholes,” Ino pointed out. “Sasuke thinks he’s better than everybody else, and Naruto’s just obnoxious.”

“They have their reasons,” said Hinata.

“... But it’s true,” Sakura finished seriously.

-

Hinata made Hanabi fall to the floor in a mock Jyuuken blow for the third time. “Like this,” said Hinata, motioning the correct way to do it, as Hanabi lay there in surprise. Sparring with her friends, and Suzume-sensei’s advice on fighting hard against a comrade actually saving them, had changed Hinata’s whole worldview when it came to fighting.

And she was much better for it. Her father had noticed it, too. As he watched the end of the spar curiously, he admitted to himself that he had been skeptical of Hinata’s request for personal training at first. But she had proven herself more dedicated, certainly, but also more talented than anyone had ever given her credit for. This, in turn, had improved her self confidence.

“Hinata,” he said, and everyone looked up. “You will now fight Neji.”

Hinata’s eyes widened slightly, and she faced Neji uncertainly on the Hyuuga clan sparring mat, getting into a Jyuuken stance.

“Hinata-sama,” Neji intoned, beginning, “you cannot win this fight. You are far too weak to -”

Hinata surprised him with a blow right in the middle of his speech. He blocked in time, but slid backwards on his feet.

“Enough words, Neji-nii-san,” said Hinata in a hard voice. Her new strength and confidence had returned to her in her quiet anger. “Let us fight.”

Neji paused, and nodded, throwing himself into the fight.

It was a hard and close battle. They traded blows, on very close and equal footing with one another. In the end, Neji defeated Hinata by a slim margin, knocking her off her feet - but he was also older than her, and he’d been seriously training for a longer period of time.

He was, as well, what the Hyuuga called a “genius.”

“You see?” said Neji, scowling, breathing hard. “You cannot change.”

Hinata rose, unfazed. “I have defeated my sister, and I have held my own against you, Neji-nii-san,” she said calmly. “Clearly, I have already changed.”

“I agree.” Everyone turned in surprise to Hinata’s father Hiashi standing in the corner. “Hinata, you have improved greatly, in mind and body. Not only can you defeat your sister, but you can hold your own against someone who is older and has been training longer than you.

“You now deserve the title of clan heiress. I had hoped for this day, when I challenged you to become better.” Hiashi allowed himself a small smile.

Hinata brightened in delight, and then bowed low. “Thank you, Otou-sama,” she said, her voice thick with repressed emotion. She would let the emotion out later, when it was human and safe.

For now, she was a Hyuuga heiress. She was a ninja.

Hanabi looked on in surprise, and Neji in helpless anger, confusion, and disbelief. People could not change. He had to believe that. He had to believe it was not just him stuck in one place and rank for his entire life.

… But then how to explain the obvious change in Hinata-sama? Had this person been inside her all along?

-

Sakura’s bullies approached her on the playground again, as everyone was milling around in the Academy’s front courtyard before class. “Hey, Forehead Girl! Trying to be cool with your new look and your good grades, eh?!” Ami, the lead bully, jeered. 

Ino moved to step forward heatedly in a psychic attack with her hands in a hand seal, Hinata raised her hands in Gentle Fist defense seriously -

But Sakura put out her hands to stop them, and stepped forward. “I can handle myself,” she said evenly. By now, the entire playground was watching.

Suddenly, the courtyard saw Sakura’s bullies turn around, and begin fighting and punching each other. There were gasps. Each girl saw the person next to her as looking just like an attacking Sakura. Their punches were weak and flimsy, but so were their bodies. 

Sakura let her bullies beat themselves up.

When they were all lying, bleeding, on the ground, she lifted the illusion and they gasped. “Genjutsu,” Sakura told the silent, stunned courtyard, stepping closer, “the illusion that something is what it is not.”

Ami’s bloody, bruised face twisted. “You little bitch -!”

Sakura stepped on her hand and broke it. Ami shrieked in pain.

“Pick on me again. See what happens,” Sakura threatened, glaring.

“And she’s not the only one who’s grown stronger with new abilities,” said Ino, grinning, coming up and leaning casually against Sakura’s shoulder.

“We do not take kindly to people who pick on our friends,” said Hinata coldly, for once frigid and entirely Hyuuga, standing with dignity on Sakura’s other side.

Sasuke was surprised, then reluctantly impressed. Those girls were stronger. He wondered how he would watch match up against them…

Naruto was impressed, and also a bit fearfully awed. That’s exactly what he would expect from the girls he admired!

Shikamaru sighed. “Troublesome,” he muttered. “That Ino isn’t playing around anymore.”

Chouji looked over at Shikamaru curiously.

“Indeed,” Shino said seriously, “and her friends aren’t either.”

“That was awesome!” said Kiba, grinning, and Akamaru atop his head barked.

The girls took in all these reactions as they walked through the staring crowds toward the double doors, and this may not have been very ninja and Buddhist of them, but it made them feel proud. Maybe even smug.

Ino’s old friends met them at the doors. “Hey… Hey, Ino…” They laughed uneasily. “You know, when we teased you, we were just kidding, right?”

Ino stared at her former friends, her face unusually veiled. Sakura and Hinata had also paused to watch.

“We’d love to hang out with you,” said the lead girl fervently, the one who had once jeered at Ino and made everyone else laugh at her.

“No, thanks,” said Ino, in that moment willingly giving up her bossy, better-than-you popularity. “I have all I need.” 

And she walked away with her two real friends: Hinata and Sakura.


	2. Beginning Steps

It was the day before the final graduation exam into Genin rank. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata’s class’s room was arranged in ascending tiers, each tier holding three three-person tables. Windows on the left side filtered light onto the room. Ino, Sakura, and Hinata took up one table in the center.

Iruka-sensei was the one teaching the class that day, giving a review session, and he was interrupted mid-lesson by a green-vested Chuunin suddenly sprinting into the room. “Iruka-san!” he gasped out. “Uzumaki Naruto has defaced the Hokage Monument! There’s graffiti all over it!”

Naruto hadn’t appeared at school that day. This must be his latest prank. 

All the students gasped, stood up, and ran to the windows to look. The Hokage was the leader of Konoha village, its most powerful ninja, and a large outdoor sandstone monument carved with the Hokages’ faces loomed up in the center of Konoha, visible to anyone anywhere within the tall wooden wall perimeters that housed the village and its forests in a kind of bowl.

Sure enough, all the Hokages’ faces had been decorated in graffiti symbols and - all men - they had been painted to resemble crying women. A loud round of excited chatter started up among the students.

“I’d be reluctantly impressed if I thought Naruto was actually trying to send a message,” Ino admitted. “But I think he just likes pissing people off.”

“It’s highly disrespectful,” said Hinata softly, frowning slightly. “All the late Hokages died protecting Konoha village. It’s a dangerous job, and they’re powerful ninja. If any elder deserves respect, it’s them.”

“But let’s be honest,” said Sakura clinically. “Can we think of a single adult who openly respects Naruto? Justified or not? So why would he respect them? We all know everyone hates Uzumaki Naruto.”

They turned around to find Iruka-sensei gone. He’d run out after his wayward student.

“I’m skipping!” Kiba announced. 

“That is unwise,” Shino commented. Kiba told Shino just where he could stick it, and walked confidently out of the classroom.

Shikamaru sighed. “Troublesome,” he muttered. “We’re probably going to get in trouble for this.” Chouji was comfort snacking in a fast, nervous, anxious sort of manner from his bag of chips.

Sasuke didn’t dignify Naruto’s and Kiba’s acts with a response. He just looked vaguely scathing.

They all returned uncertainly to their seats, and soon enough Iruka walked back into the classroom, a loudly complaining Naruto tied in ropes slung over his shoulder. He sat Naruto down on the floor, stood above him with his hands on his hips, and began lecturing Naruto from on high in front of the entire class.

Iruka seemed to be going for the humiliation factor, which Suzume-sensei had once pointed out dryly might not be the best way to get Naruto to stop misbehaving. But everyone had gotten sick of Naruto’s antics long ago - he’d done everything from hide frogs in people’s coffees and lunches, to set booby traps for random citizens, to act out loudly and obnoxiously in class - and anyway, nobody at the Ninja Academy openly questioned a superior except for Naruto.

It was part of their training. If a superior told them to do something wrong, their superior would get into trouble - not them. They were to listen to their superiors no matter what. Naruto just never paid attention to his training.

“I’m at the end of my ropes, Naruto,” said Iruka in irritable exasperation. “I just don’t know what to do with you. You failed both practice exams and the actual graduation exam is tomorrow. You’re telling me you can’t even show up to a review session? You’ve got a real chance at something here, and you’re messing up again!”

Naruto scowled and looked away from Iruka, as if that would make him go away.

Umino Iruka lost his temper rather easily - or at least, he did when it came to his most troublemaking student. “Fine! Since you don’t seem to find these classes important, Naruto, that must show in how your peers are treated! Out there in the forces, you slacking off could mean everyone is punished! Therefore, pop quiz for everybody on the Transformation Technique!”

A loud groan came from the surrounding students. Countless glares were shot at Naruto as he was freed and he and the other students reluctantly lined up at the front of the room.

“Damnit, Uzumaki,” Shikamaru, who disliked work the most out of all of them but had still managed to show up to the review session, was heard to mutter.

Sasuke went first, and of course his technique was completely silent and utterly perfect. He showed no emotion, not even satisfaction, when he was given top scores and moved off to the side so the next student could perform the Transformation ninjutsu.

“Naruto,” an irritated Ino was saying to Naruto, who’d lined up beside them. “Could you do me a favor and not make everyone pay for any of your screwups tomorrow during one of the most important tests of our lives? God forbid I happen to be teamed with you out in the field.”

“Yeah, this is a total waste of time,” said Shikamaru. “We all know the only one who hasn’t mastered all three basic ninjutsu in the six years we’ve been provided is you, Naruto.”

“Tell it to someone who cares,” Naruto snapped at Shikamaru, annoyed. Then he turned pleadingly to the three frowning girls. “Come on, you know I won’t mess up tomorrow,” he whined. “The Genin Exam is important to me too.”

“You don’t show it,” Hinata pointed out quietly.

“Exactly.” Sakura scowled, glaring. “If becoming a ninja is so important to you, Naruto, then start acting like it.”

Naruto went sullenly silent.

It was the three girls’ turns next. Each of them did what was acceptable - fast and accurate hand seals, a calling out of the name of the technique, and a perfect transformation into Umino Iruka with a puff of smoke. Iruka nodded and wrote down top marks on his clipboard, and the three girls moved off to the side without fanfare or commentary.

It wasn’t really a great triumph or anything, doing a correct Transformation technique. By the sixth year, any idiot could do it.

Even Naruto, as it turned out. Unusually quiet after the girls’ words, he did a simple transformation into Iruka and then moved off to the side, scowling.

That was the end of their review session. Tomorrow would be the exam. Everyone else went home to dinners with their families and some late night studying - Naruto walked off with Iruka in the setting sun to go clean up the Monument he had defaced.

-

Weeks had led up to the Graduation Exam. Each of their teachers had to pass the students through their section before they were even allowed to take the Exam. All of their teachers had of course passed Sakura, Hinata, and Ino, with Suzume telling her three students evenly, “I know you’ll do well.”

They were determined to prove her right.

So they got to their usual classroom on Exam morning, and it consisted of three parts: They had to make it through a five-minute taijutsu spar with a fellow student, take a written test, and perform perfectly one of the three basic ninjutsu, chosen at random. Even Naruto looked serious on Genin Exam morning. Sasuke could have been made of stone.

They started with taijutsu sparring in the back field. Everyone surrounded the two combatants, who were not wearing head or hand gear, and cheered loudly throughout all the fights. Each set of partners made the combat symbol at the beginning, the friendship symbol at the end.

Sakura and Ino had to spar with each other and Hinata had to spar with Kiba. Kiba’s clan’s specialty was not taijutsu, at least not taijutsu that didn’t have chakra techniques involved, so safe to say Hinata passed her section just fine - both she and Kiba made it through, but Hinata held the upper hand for most of the spar and probably could have ensured Kiba failed if she really wanted to. Sakura and Ino, of course, played off of each other perfectly, with years of experience in the works, playing it fast and hard against each other. After sparring with a Gentle Fist user for years on end, putting in a good taijutsu showing was not terribly difficult.

The written exam consisted of two parts: just plain scholarly information, and strategic and psychological puzzles. Sakura’s pounding into them of scholarship came in handy for the first part, while Ino and her clan’s expertise in psychology ensured they aced the next part. Iruka and Mizuki - the proctors - were grading tests as they came to them, and Hinata, Sakura, and Ino all got good marks.

Then came the final part of the test: the randomly chosen ninjutsu. Which would be chosen - the Transformation, the Replacement, or the Clone?

“The final test will be on the Clone Technique,” said Iruka at the front of the room. “You must make at least three effective illusory replicas that look just like you in order to pass. Come into the next room one at a time when your name is called.” He and Mizuki walked into a little side-room off of the main classroom.

“We’ve got this,” Ino muttered. “The Clone Technique is one step away from genjutsu, which requires perfect chakra control, and all three of our clans specialize in chakra control.”

Sakura grinned. “If I don’t pass this I’ll be very disappointed in myself,” she joked. Hinata smiled in amusement.

They were each called into the room at different points. Iruka and Mizuki were sitting behind a long table that cut the room in half. Shiny piles of new hitai ate - Konoha ninja marker bands - were set along the table in rows.

Each girl did a stance, made the hand seals, moulded their chakra - “Clone Technique!”

Not one of them made under five perfect clones.

And then they got to hear the blissful words from the proctors: “You pass.” They went up to receive their brand-new Konoha hitai-ate, thrilled and giddy, squealing like young girls.

Everyone met up to talk and laugh outside the Academy once the test was over. Sakura, Hinata, and Ino found each other in the crowds.

“We made it!” They grinned at each other in disbelief, clutching their new leaf bands. “Now where should we put this?”

“I was going to tie mine around my neck like a kerchief,” Hinata commented. “For a kunoichi, it’s never a bad idea to emphasize the breast line.”

So they tied their hitai-ate in place as one, a symbol of their closeness as ninja comrades.

“Hey. Look over there.” They turned around. Through all the crowds of happy students and parents, Naruto could be seen, sitting dejectedly on his tree swing. He did not have a hitai-ate, the only one out of all twenty-seven students who had not passed, and he looked extremely pathetic.

“... I feel sorry for him.”

“Yeah.”

They tried to tell themselves that after all that slacking off he got what was coming to him, but somehow they found no satisfaction in the idea. It put a somber note into their celebrations.

“How did I know you’d be together?”

They whirled around - Suzume-sensei was standing there with a small, proud smile, as were Ino’s parents, Sakura’s parents, and Hinata’s father and sister with their clan retainers, including Neji. The girls smiled, and went forward with pride to greet the people who had gotten them this far.

“You have done well, Hinata,” said her father with a small smile. “There shall be a feast amongst the clan tonight for our heir apparent.”

Neji was silent, resentful, but Hanabi went forward and touched the hitai-ate with wonder. “Wow…” she said.

“You did great, honey,” said Sakura’s expressive father, smiling, hugging her. Her mother, more reserved, said, “Special dinner tonight. My treat.”

Ino leaped into her father’s arms - she’d always been Daddy’s little girl - and he twirled her around, laughing. “Oh, do stop spoiling her, Inoichi,” Ino’s stern mother scolded, but there was no heart in it.

The girls all got back together, giving each other smiles, and turned to Suzume-sensei. “Thank you, Sensei,” they said meaningfully, gazing up at her.

Suzume smiled. “You did much of it on your own,” she said. “I just led the way. But don’t slack off now, do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.” They beamed, proud of themselves, and then went their separate ways for the evening with their families, each clutching an instruction sheet for beginning ninja in their hands.

-

That night, something very strange happened. A pounding came on all three girls’ doors, and standing on the other side was a wide-eyed, frantic adult ninja. They always asked to speak to the parents privately, outside. Soon after, the parents would hurry away.

Sakura, Hinata, and Ino grabbed their cell phones and gave each other a three way call.

“Something bizarre just happened,” said Ino. “And I would have read my parents’ minds to find out what was going on, but no way would they not have seen through that. Did you guys -?”

“A ninja took my parents away,” said Sakura worriedly. “Yeah. What could be going on?”

“I used my Byakugan to lip read my father’s conversation with the messenger through the wall,” said Hinata. “Naruto has stolen a scroll of forbidden jutsu. He’s on the run with it. All the adults are out trying to find him.”

“WHAT?!” Ino and Sakura shrieked.

“Why would they not have let the young people help with that?” Ino wondered. “Do they think we’d be too biased because Naruto is our former classmate?”

“Why would Naruto have done such a thing?” said Sakura.

“He didn’t pass,” said Ino grimly. “Maybe he got desperate for more power. It’s what Sasuke would have done in his place.”

Later, though, all the parents came back. All three girls asked some form of the same cautious question: “Has everything been resolved?”

“The truth has been found out and the perpetrator has been caught,” was all their parents would say.

The girls knew one thing: None of them wanted to be Naruto that night.

-

The next day they had to take their registration pictures and fill out their registration forms. Each new ninja posed on the viewing platform in front of the Hokage Monument. A professional photographer took a picture of them - Ino grinning and holding up a V for Victory sign, Sakura giving a small mischievous smile, and Hinata beaming sweetly with her hands before her. Then they filled out their information paperwork and turned it in with the Hokage, who had to approve it.

The Hokage was a tiny old man with a silver goatee and a wood-pipe, in the customary red and white robes. They sat across the desk from him - he looked the paperwork over, looked them over, and then stamped. “Approved,” he would rumble. “Next!”

The girls got coffees together afterward, and sat in the coffee shop watching a live band play for the afternoon. Then they ambled through the dusty streets, past the small traditional buildings and shady trees, chatting with one another. The weather was beautiful, the sky blue above them.

“So what do you think tomorrow is going to be like?” said Hinata. They had been ordered to return to their former Academy classroom for their first assignment.

“I think I’m excited to get my first assignment as a ninja,” said Sakura evenly, smiling.

“Yeah! We’re going to be the best ninja ever!” Ino cheered. She threw her arms around Hinata and Sakura’s shoulders. “Best friends, right? Legendary ninja?”

“Forever,” they agreed, smiling.

-

The next morning, they each got ready in front of their separate mirrors, making sure they looked nice. They were kunoichi. Appearances counted for a lot. They tied on their hitai-ate and gazed at themselves in the mirror, determined.

Then when their parents or servants called to them, they made their way into the kitchens, grabbing a quick breakfast and then heading from their compounds and out into the streets to meet with each other.

“Here we go! Here we go!” Ino sang, hurrying forward, excited.

Sakura smiled. “If Ino gets any more excited, I think she’ll pee herself.”

“Too late!” Ino called over her shoulder.

Hinata laughed. “I’m excited, too, though,” she admitted sweetly. “I wonder what we’ll be assigned to!”

“Eh. We’re rookies. Probably something boring,” said Sakura scathingly. Her friends glared at her. “... But I’m excited, too,” she admitted at last, smiling.

“Good thing,” Ino sighed, feigning relief. “You were starting to sound like Sasuke.”

The girls paused, and shuddered.

“If I ever start to sound like Sasuke…” said Sakura dreadingly.

“I shall do the honorable thing,” said Hinata solemnly, “and end your life.”

They passed by Suzume-sensei in the halls. “Good luck today, girls!” she called, smiling, as she passed. “Listen to your superiors!”

“Yes, Sensei!” they called back after her.

They entered the classroom together, and surveyed the room. It looked just like it did on an ordinary day of class. Students were spread throughout the room in seats, talking to one another… The only difference was the hitai-ate marker bands gleaming on their bodies.

Then the girls spotted him. Naruto. And he had a hitai-ate.

Giving each other hard looks - would they have to make defensive maneuvers against him? - they walked cautiously over to Naruto. “Naruto,” said Hinata warningly, “what are you doing here? You didn’t pass.”

“Damnit, Shikamaru just said that to me!” Naruto swore. “I did pass! See?” He pointed at the hitai-ate.

“Naruto, we know what happened,” said Ino flatly. 

“Why aren’t you in prison?” Sakura demanded.

Naruto looked around and leaned closer. “Because a superior ordered me to do it,” he muttered, for once using some rather impressive ninja lingo.

“What? Who?” they demanded.

“Let’s just say Iruka-sensei will be giving orders today because Mizuki-sensei is not going to see daylight for a very long time,” Naruto muttered darkly.

“So what, they just gave you a hitai-ate as an apology?” Ino blurted out disbelievingly.

Naruto smirked. “I turned on him. I’m the one who brought him in,” he said smugly. “I defended Iruka from the big bad traitor, so there.”

It was, they could admit to themselves reluctantly, an impressive thing to boast.

“How do we know whether to believe you?” said Sakura, glaring.

“When Iruka-sensei comes in and doesn’t attack me -” Naruto shrugged. “Then you’ll have your answer.”

So they found seats and gazed suspiciously at Naruto, who seemed totally unconcerned, even cheerful. Two seats across from him was Uchiha Sasuke, though Naruto did not seem to have noticed.

It became apparent, however, when a group of girls came and pushed Naruto out of his seat. They then began fighting, slapping, and clawing at each other to see who got to have the seat next to Uchiha Sasuke, who had only grown in popularity among the women over the years and still seemed totally contemptuous of it.

“Maybe he’s gay,” Ino commented without interest, watching the display with her chin in her hand: Naruto, glaring in dismay at the fighting girls, and Sasuke, pretending to ignore them.

“Naruto or Sasuke?” Sakura asked, only half joking.

“Both,” said Ino. “Naruto because he’s trying too hard. Sasuke because he’s not.”

“The thought had occurred to me,” said Hinata calmly, not even looking up from the piece of embroidery she’d brought with her.

Ino had turned to doodling and Sakura had turned to a particularly hard crossword puzzle when there were particularly loud gasps and shrieks from the group of girls in front of them. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino looked up -

Sasuke and Naruto seemed to be making out.

“Whoa, I was right!” said Ino, amazed. “They are gay!” Her words filled the stunned silence. She ducked her head. “... Oops.”

Shikamaru, Kiba, and several other boys began laughing hysterically. Then it was revealed what had happened: Naruto had gone to glare into Sasuke’s face, had leaned too close, and someone had accidentally shoved into him and unbalanced him. Naruto’s face met Sasuke’s face via lip contact.

Naruto and Sasuke staggered away from each other, Naruto spitting and gagging, Sasuke looking ready to torch the entire classroom with that fire technique he’d once threatened Naruto with. 

“Stage gay! Do it again!” Sakura called, hands around her mouth, as Hinata began cheering. Ino was too paralyzed with laughter to respond.

The theatricality only heightened when the fangirls leaped on Naruto and began beating him up. A huge fight broke out in the classroom, and Naruto managed to down three of them before two girls caught his arms from behind and a third one punched him right across the face. It was as if fangirls were continually appearing out of the woodwork.

Iruka walked into the classroom, all bandaged up, and demanded, “What the hell is going on?!” The classroom fell into a sheepish sort of silence; Ino, Hinata, Sakura, and several of the boys stopped heckling.

The girls were peeled off of Naruto, who looked like he’d just been in a nasty brawl. “Are you okay?” they heard Iruka say, kneeled over a sitting Naruto, and Naruto nodded. Sasuke had taken his seat sometime in the chaos and seemed firmly determined to pretend none of it had ever happened.

“Well, I guess we have our answer,” Ino muttered to her two friends, as they watched Iruka interact with Naruto.

“Well, if he could survive a horde of raving fangirls, of course he could survive Mizuki,” said Hinata matter of factly.

“Yeah,” said Sakura fervently. “Nothing’s as scary as that.”

Everyone was ordered to take their seats, and Iruka began his prepared speech at the front of the room. “You are now fully fledged ninja. But you are only Genin - rookie, low ranked ninja. Things will only get harder from here on out.” He glared sternly.

Inspiration at its finest.

“You will be divided into three-person teams,” said Iruka. “Each team will accomplish their first missions under a Jounin ranking instructor.”

Everyone immediately thought about who they’d want to be with. Nearly every girl wanted to be with Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t want to be with anyone. Naruto wanted to be with either Hinata, Sakura, or Ino - and definitely not Sasuke. Shikamaru wanted to be with Chouji. And Hinata, Sakura, and Ino glanced over at each other - each of them wanted to be with the other two.

But Ino raised her hand, concerned. “Sensei? Will we get to know who our Sensei is, as well as who our teammates are?”

Iruka looked surprised but pleased by the question. “Yes, of course, I can do that,” he said. He took up a sheet of paper. “I will now read the team assignments.”

Nine teams were listed, in no particular numerical order - it was implied that some team numbers were currently held by teams on the books. Here were some of the teams mentioned:

“Team Seven: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Inuzuka Kiba. Headed by Hakate Kakashi.”

“Team Ten: Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji, and Aburame Shino. Headed by Sarutobi Asuma.”

“Team Eight: Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino, and Hyuuga Hinata. Headed by Yuuhi Kurenai.”

The girls grinned at each other in excitement. They were together, and to top it all off - Kurenai was a woman’s name. Their prayers had been answered.

The minute team assignments were over, Naruto shot to his feet and demanded to know why “a great ninja like him was on a team with two losers!”

Kiba shot to his feet in protest, Akamaru barking. “I’m not the one who failed every test the Academy ever gave him except for the really important one, Uzumaki! We’re probably on your team so we can bail your sorry ass out in a battle!”

“You want to say that again, Inuzuka?!”

Sasuke sighed as though he already had a headache. “Neither of you had better weigh me down,” he snapped, and the three new teammates glared at each other.

Team Eight’s eyebrows had risen. Shikamaru looked bored, Chouji looked incredulous, and Shino looked unimpressed.

“Everyone calm down,” Iruka sighed. “Kiba’s right, Naruto. Sasuke and Kiba got very good scores on the final exam and you barely passed. The teams are weighted so that the individual abilities balance each other out.”

Hinata raised her hand, frowning. “So if three people are put on a team together… does one of them automatically have to be seen as weak?”

Iruka smiled. “Not necessarily,” he said. “Hokage-sama keeps track of each Academy student’s progress. Sometimes he thinks three people would fight particularly well together, and other times they’ve practically formed a team already.” He gave them a meaningful look.

Team Eight smiled at one another. 

“There will now be a lunch break,” said Iruka. “Be back here in one hour to meet your Jounin instructors.”

-

Sakura, Hinata, and Ino sat on their usual bench underneath the tree, chatting excitedly with each other. They couldn’t believe it. They were all on the same team, headed by a strong Jounin woman!

They wondered aloud to each other what Yuuhi Kurenai would be like. Would she be tough but fair, like Suzume-sensei had been?

Suddenly, they saw Sasuke approach them. He smirked, leaning against a tree, looking at them heatedly.

“It’s a genjutsu,” said Sakura immediately. “Sasuke’s kunai holster is always on his other leg.”

Ino’s pupil-less blue eyes widened as she delved into the intruder’s mind, and Hinata’s silvery-violet eyes gained intense-looking pupils, bulging with chakra, as she activated her Byakugan.

“Whoa,” the supposed Sasuke said at once, backing up.

“... Naruto?!” Hinata and Ino said incredulously at the same time. “Why the hell are you made up like Sasuke?!”

“He is gay,” said Sakura fervently.

“Sasuke” blushed and turned back into Naruto. “I’m not gay!” he protested. “I just… I wanted to know what you guys thought of me. If… you know… if I had a chance with you… before we ended up on different teams.” Gruff, he scuffed his shoe against the dirt.

“Naruto, we have great respect for you as a person,” Hinata began.

“With that said…” said Sakura uneasily.

“... No way in a million fucking years,” Ino finished flatly.

Just then, Sasuke stalked up to them. The real one this time. “Why the hell did you jump on me, tie me up, and Transform into me, Uzumaki?!” he demanded.

“I tied you up! How are you here?” said Naruto, horrified.

“... Naruto,” said Sasuke, as though this was obvious, which it was, “they teach you how to untie bindings at the Academy.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Naruto curiously, glancing skyward. The three girls sweat-dropped. 

“So, Sasuke,” said Sakura with morbid curiosity, voicing what all three girls were thinking, “Naruto actually defeated you in a ninja battle?”

Sasuke paused, and blushed, glaring slowly over at Naruto - who looked like he was trying to choke back laughter. Then suddenly his eyes widened. “Holy shit I gotta poo!” he shouted, and ran off.

Four bewildered people were left in his aftermath.

“I’m going to kill him,” Sasuke said at last in a deadly voice, stalking off toward the bathroom. “That liar.”

“Better go after your boyfriend, he could be upset,” said Ino brightly. Hinata giggled and Sakura smirked.

Sasuke glared back at them threateningly. “You know,” he said, “I could kill you and make it look like an accident.”

“Just make sure I’m pretty. I have to be pretty when I die,” said Sakura sarcastically.

“Asshole,” Ino added.

Sasuke stared at them suspiciously for a moment, and then left.

“I can’t believe I used to like him,” Ino sighed, and Sakura nodded slowly in agreement.

“You’re telling me?” said Hinata. “I liked the guy who left an intense confrontation because he had to take a crap.”

They were still shaking their heads as they headed back toward the Academy together. Nevertheless, they kept an eye on what was ahead: It was time to meet their new Sensei.


End file.
